


Tony's Night Out

by Neverever



Series: Cap-IM Tiny Reverse Bang ficlets [12]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Awkward Dates, Bad Decisions, M/M, Modern Art
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-18
Updated: 2015-09-18
Packaged: 2018-04-21 10:32:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,668
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4825763
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Neverever/pseuds/Neverever
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony should have checked his medicine before going out on a date with Steve.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tony's Night Out

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the twelfth round of the Cap/Iron Man Tiny Reverse Big Bang.
> 
> Art, titled “Toys” is by [ssyn3](https://ssyn3.tumblr.com) and is linked [here](http://40.media.tumblr.com/cfc763354e4b6e70edc3e2b17ff63c5c/tumblr_nqgsjjBKMI1uqoi07o2_r1_500.jpg). Check it out!
> 
> Big big thanks to my beta, armsplutonic.
> 
> Warning: prescription drug misuse.

Tony sometimes made questionable choices (what others might call “bad” or even “spectacularly bad.”) Like the time he decided he didn’t need air filtration screens in the suit, and then he collided with a hornet’s nest. A very angry hornet’s nest, full of very angry hornets.

Although the one he made last night was pretty bad. Not quite on the ‘Top Ten Tony Bad Decisions’ list, maybe in the top twenty at best.

Eh. It didn’t matter one way or the other, because Steve wasn’t ever going to let him live it down.

It started when Tony developed a cold (which he claimed was “allergies” until proven otherwise by his traitorous immune system.) It was one of those miserable, sniffly colds that meant a stuffed-up head and general listlessness, but not so bad he’d have to go to bed. He was toughing it out as he worked on a new version of the suit.

A soft chime on his workstation startled him. For one thing, it was surprising that he even noticed the chime, given the loud whirring of machines and tools and the rock music going at full blast. And for the other, the chime was a reminder to get ready for his date with Steve.

Steve had managed to talk him into going to some art gallery opening. So that meant a shower, beard trimming and locating clothes without burn or grease marks. And possibly food. Although he could count on Steve to line up dinner before the gallery.

Tony got up from the workbench and a pounding headache hit him. He was not going to let a silly thing like a sniffly little cold interrupt his date with Steve. After his shower, he took a couple tablets of cold medicine, threw a few more tablets into a pocket, and headed off to meet Steve.

Looking back, he should have read the labels on the box. Actually, he should have checked to see what exactly he had taken. And he shouldn’t have gotten distracted when he grabbed a jacket out of his closet. Or when he got dressed earlier.

At the elevator, Steve looked effortlessly delicious in his leather jacket and jeans that clung to his ass in just the right way. Tony kissed him in greeting and grabbed his arm. “Let’s get going – I know, I know, I’m late.” Steve only smiled at him.

Tony didn’t stop talking all the way to the restaurant ten blocks away, telling Steve all about his work on the suit and the latest “green” tech he developed. Steve had found an excellent hole-in-the-wall restaurant that served up sandwiches, pizza and beer on tap.

Everything was going perfectly, until Tony realized that he was wearing a black sweatsuit and track pants from his workout the day before. At least his red sneakers looked stylish. He downed his beer and checked his phone. “Do you think we have time to get back to the Tower?”

Deep in analyzing the dessert offerings, Steve didn’t even look up. “The opening is at 8 and we’re already going to be late.”

“Oh.” Tony tapped his glass and considered how embarrassing it would be if he went to the gallery dressed in workout clothes. Well. Who cared really? There weren’t going to be paparazzi at this gallery opening. And everyone was going to be drooling over Steve anyway. “Whatcha going to order?”

One cheesecake and two beers later, Tony felt a happy buzz as he clung to Steve’s arm on the way to the gallery. It was the perfect fall night, cool and crisp with leaves turning colors.

Things would have been great if the date ended there.

But Steve - the spoilsport - wanted to see the show at the gallery. Which Tony didn’t understand when he saw the show. “Steve, are we at the right spot?”

Steve checked the newspaper clipping in his pocket. “Yes, this is it.”

“Right,” Tony said. Steve had to be punking him. Because this gallery show appeared to be kids’ toys blown up to large sizes. Barbie dolls and action figures the same size as adults, toy cars the same size as real cars. But still looking like toys. A Nerf cannon occupied one corner of the gallery surrounded by a fence of oversized jacks.

Tony shrugged. He’d been to worse art shows with Pepper. “Toys?”

Steve looked at the flyer he’d been handed by one of the gallery staff. “It’s a statement about consumerism.”

“Okayyyy. Let’s check out it out.”

He could have made his escape right then. But he was here for Steve, and trying to be a good and supportive boyfriend. An hour or two in the gallery and then they would head back to the Tower. And Steve would owe him a robot movie after this.

Wineglass in hand, Tony dutifully followed Steve through the show. To his credit, Steve was taking this whole show seriously, walking around the pieces and swapping observations with the other show goers. And Tony ran into some people he’d met at galleries with Pepper. He ended up at the wine bar catching up on the news.

Tony suddenly felt sniffly, so his cold medicine might be wearing off. He popped the remaining cold tablets and listened with complete fascination to his new-found friend, the patent attorney who was describing a recent case in great detail. Tony had not realized how exciting (read: mind-numbingly insanely boring) patent law could be. He eventually excused himself to get more wine and find Steve.

He bumped into another lawyer, dressed very unlawyerly-like in a hoodie and board shorts. They talked about the NASA mission to Pluto, although Tony realized the conversation was a bit one-sided since he was the one doing all the talking. He turned to the lawyer’s date to ask if she had seen the NASA footage.

Boy, things had changed on the gallery front if red, low-cut sparkly pageant gowns were the thing to wear to gallery openings. She didn’t have much to say either. Tony was starting to feel very lonely with his red sneakers and love of Pluto.

He sipped more wine and noticed the room seemed to be spinning. Hmm, Steve hadn’t mentioned anything about a performance art piece tonight. Still, a spinning room was a bit pedestrian considering the overall theme.

He bumped into a busty woman decked out in a pink jumpsuit and leg warmers, and excused himself. When had ‘80s hipsters become a thing?

The woman’s assets were on full display and Tony blushed when his eyes took in far more than he planned. Clint had made too many jokes over the past year about Tony’s love for blondes with large racks. He needed to find his own blond with a rack.

A smattering of laughter around him told him that he had said all that out loud. Ugh. Steve would kill him if he ever found out.

And there was Steve, right in front of him. Face-palming

“Oh, hi! There you are,” Tony said brightly. He knew he was a dead man walking. Especially after he tripped over his own feet and splashed wine all over the busty lady in the pink jumpsuit. He attempted to wipe up the wine from her outfit with his hands. He narrowed his eyes because she said nothing as Tony pawed at her clothes.

Something was seriously wrong here.

“Come on,” Steve said gently as he detached Tony from the wine-drenched, life-sized Barbie. He slung Tony’s arm around his shoulder to support him. Somehow Steve even managed to give the gallery owner a business card on his way out to the curb to wait for Happy.

Tony clung to Steve. “I’m sorry, Steve – I didn’t know –”

Steve patted his back. “It’s okay, Tony. Um, what else did you take tonight?”

“Just the beer and a glass of wine. And the cold medicine.” Great, the world was blurry and spinning and he was still sniffly.

“Okay. Here’s Happy.” Steve helped him into the back seat of the town car and they sped back home.

In the morning, the other Avengers helpfully bought several copies of the Bugle in case Tony missed the photo of himself attacking a life-size Barbie. In his workout clothes, which looked worse than he could have imagined. He groaned and tossed the newspaper aside.

“Was it that bad? Because, you know, I’ve done a lot worse,” he groused.

Steve carefully put down the breakfast tray on the bed. “Coffee?” he offered.

Tony felt like he’d been hit by a freight train. He needed coffee like he needed air. And Steve had made him toast, too. God bless Steve. “Thanks,” he said.

Steve brushed the hair out of Tony’s face. “Doing okay?”

“Fine, except I’m not going to be invited to any Barbie conventions for the foreseeable future.”

“I think you’ll be fine.” Steve smiled fondly at Tony. “We’ve already taken care of the gallery. The owner liked the publicity.”

Tony dropped back against the pillows, banging his head on the headboard. “Great.”

“You would have been fine if you hadn’t mistaken the Percocet for cold medicine. You had a bad reaction to it.“

“Percocet?”

“It might be a good idea to store the painkillers on a different shelf from the cold medicine.” Steve spread cream cheese on his sesame bagel. “At least I now know you’ll leave me only for another American icon.”

Tony put his a hand over his face. “You’ll never, ever let me live this down, will you?”

"You put on a heck of a show, Tony. Although I’m not sure if Barbie liked the astrophysics lecture as much as I did.” Steve climbed onto the bed and put an arm around Tony’s shoulders. “But I forgive you. It’s Clint and Sam you have to worry about.” He took a bite out of his bagel. “And Ken. I don’t think he liked you hitting on his girlfriend.”

“Pfft, like he should worry. I’m dating the better looking blond.”

 

 

Badge art by Inoshi.


End file.
